A New Chapter: My Journey and the Tools for Emotional Prosperity

fjdwriter
5 days ago
5 min read

"The soul becomes dyed with the color of its thoughts." This observation by Marcus Aurelius serves as a foundational premise for what we do here at the Emotional Prosperity Network. It suggests that our internal landscape is not a static environment but a living, breathing ecosystem shaped by the narratives we choose to cultivate.

As I stand at the threshold of a new chapter for this organization, I find myself looking back at the divergent paths that brought me here. My journey has been a series of profound "reframing": moving from the physical manipulation of the spine to the delicate sculpting of stone and wood, and finally to the intentional architecture of the human spirit. This is an announcement of a new focus, but, more importantly, it is an invitation to explore the tools that helped me survive the "rabbit hole of despair" and emerge with a blueprint for emotional prosperity.

From the Kitchen to the Clinic: The Foundation of Work

Before I understood the complexities of the prefrontal cortex or the delicate dance of neurochemistry, I understood the weight of a heavy tray and the heat of a busy kitchen. Growing up in the Rhode Island restaurant business wasn't just about food; it was an education in service: the balance between chaotic demand and the disciplined execution of a recipe. That early work ethic became the bedrock of my character.

However, the "sand in my shoes" eventually led me toward the sciences. I pursued a degree in Psychology at Providence College, followed by a Doctorate from New York Chiropractic College. For over a decade, I served as a chiropractic physician, a role that allowed me to witness firsthand how emotional disquiet manifests as physical pathology. I saw how chronic stress, which I now call "stacking emotional moments," would overstimulate the brain and stress the immune system, leading to a breakdown in bodily harmony.

The Fracture and the Form: A Career Reimagined

Life, in its unpredictable wisdom, often provides a "prompt": a term I prefer over "trigger" because a prompt suggests a call to action rather than a reactive explosion. My prompt came as a freak accident that abruptly ended my career as a chiropractic physician.

When hands trained to heal through physical adjustment could no longer perform that function, I was forced into a period of deep clinical and personal analysis. What happens to the "executive function" when the primary identity is stripped away? In the void left by my practice, I discovered sculpting.

The transition from bone to stone, wood, or any found material was more than a career change; it was a sensory-heavy immersion into the psychology of transformation. Sculpting taught me you do not "create" a form so much as you remove the excess material that hides it. This is a vital metaphor for our work at the Emotional Prosperity Network. We aren't adding new layers to your soul; we are chipping away the trauma and the limiting beliefs that obscure your inherent Emotional Prosperity.

The Promise and the Porcelain Mug: Navigating Grief

The most rigorous test of my "Emotional Toolbox" came not from a career change, but from the devastating loss of my wife, Judith, to breast cancer in 2004. There is no neurobiological jargon that can fully capture the visceral weight of that loss. It is the cold, bitter taste of black coffee in a porcelain mug on a morning when the world feels hollow.

Out of that morose darkness came my second book, A Promise Made, A Promise Kept. It documents the rollercoaster of treatment and the eventual descent into my abyss of depression and grief. During this time, I leaned heavily on the therapeutic power of journaling. It took me many years of reading and research to discover that by choosing our words with clinical precision, we can actually alter our internal neurochemistry.

When we engage in Cleaning Your Emotional House, we are not merely "venting"; we are creating new memory pathways. We are moving the narrative from the reactive amygdala to the analytical conscious executive function of the prefrontal cortex, where healing becomes possible.

The Yin and Yang of Emotional Prosperity: The 3 P’s

As we pivot to this new focus at the Emotional Prosperity Network, I want to introduce a framework I’ve developed for navigating life’s inevitable suffering. I call it the 3 P’s of Emotional Prosperity:

Perspective: This is a clinical, third-person analysis of our situation. It is the ability to step back and observe the "rabbit hole" without falling into it. It is important to understand that you are not defined by your grief; you are the one experiencing it.
Processing: This is the "Yin" to the "Yang" of perspective. It is the messy, visceral work of journaling and artistic expression. It is the act of giving a name to the pain so that it no longer owns you. As I often discuss in my sessions on survivors’ grief, naming the beast is the first step toward taming it.
Prosperity: This is the end goal: not an absence of pain, but a wealth of tools to manage it. It is the "Emotional Toolbox" that allows you to maintain agency even when the external world is in chaos.

We often think of prosperity in financial terms, but true wealth is the ability to maintain emotional equilibrium. It is the "Yin" of peace meeting the "Yang" of active engagement with life.

A Shared Journey Forward

This update to my journey and the refocusing of the Emotional Prosperity Network is about more than just my story. It is about you. Whether you are struggling with the loss of a spouse, a sudden career shift, or the general "emotional disquiet" of the modern age, know that you are not alone.

I have spent decades studying the intersection of neurology, psychology, and the body-mind-spirit connection. What I’ve learned is that we are all "restless souls with sand in our shoes," looking for a place of peace. My mission now, through my books, public speaking, workshops, and this blog, is to share the tools that moved me from survival to prosperity.

We will continue to explore the power of words, the importance of diet and exercise in mental health, and the profound impact of spiritual forgiveness. This is a communal effort. We are building a network of individuals who refuse to be defined by their trauma.

Are you ready to chip away at the stone and reveal the masterpiece underneath? Are you prepared to reframe your "triggers" as "prompts" for growth?

May you find the courage to open your journal, the strength to face your "emotional house," and the wisdom to know that even in the deepest winter, there is within you an invincible spring.

Be well, and remember: you have the agency to choose the colors of your thoughts.

Frank DiMaio, Founder, Emotional Prosperity Network

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After ‘what’ is the ‘why’ of survivors’ grief

In the dictionary, why infers a suggestion, “whether agreed upon or to make one.” It also refers to a “reason” something is said or done—the discussion of ‘what’ from the previous blog specifies the cause of a thing.

Regarding survivors’ grief, ‘what’ is a spouse's death, which leads to a long list that follows. What do I do? What is this guilt? What did I do or not do? Obviously, there are more ‘what’s,’ all based on the individuals’ circumstances. These become the elements of importance in journaling.

After that, the ‘what’ remain but changes to a variety of ‘why’s’ in a reactive manner. This reactive moment can last for a long time. The nerves are on edge, and the anger is a fresh wound on the tip of the tongue lashed out at anyone when it is prompted. I use the word ‘prompt’ since it is less aggressive or linked to the finality of the word ‘trigger’ or a ‘button’ to be pushed.

Why is it necessary to express emotional pain on paper? It uses the senses to absorb, assimilate and accept the anguish, despair, and anger relative to the loss. Once on paper, the immediate emotion is confronted and questioned as to why it is felt—again providing a reason for journaling. Is it cathartic to journal? Absolutely. But the underlying purpose is to use the 3 A’s-absorb, assimilate, and accept.

Also, why is it aligned with the past negative-ego prompts of growing up? All those experiences of stacked and imprinted emotional and physical stimuli. They compounded the reactive nature of being human as an adult and become reflected in the present state of survivor’s grief.

Attaching “Why” to the following “whats”

What is important?

What to use?

What to avoid?

What from the past?

What is a benefit?

Provides insight into the assimilation of emotion by asking, “Why?” Then, when written in a journal fulfills the role of the senses in offering fuel to the mind. To catalog and compartmentalize the chemistry of emotion in memory.

Raising the question of ‘why’ also creates avenues for new prompts based on positive intentions of forethought as a result of a pause. To pause allows for the assimilation of a prompt. Analyzing and accepting the positive intention of the purpose changes neurochemistry. Thereby changing emotional reactive behavior to responsive thought and actions.

Know you are not alone!

I would like to ask you three questions.

When you speak about a situation with health challenges…

what are the words you choose to describe the challenge?

Do you feel or sense changes in how your body is reacting to the words you express?

Do you look for a diversion?

These questions help to formulate a direction of acceptance of grief. I know full well the impact on a person’s psychological and physical well-being. I struggled with my demons of loss and guilt during my wife’s treatment for breast cancer and jumped into the rabbit hole with both feet when she died in 2004.

I learned valuable lessons over the next 4 years. Yes, it took me a long time. Everyone emotionally run over by breast cancer’s insidious nature can move forward over time. A myth about the word (time)…Time doesn’t heal all wounds.” Time may be on our side but the relevance to healing and finding peace is disconnected.

It is a roller coaster ride of emotional disquiet. One day I am fine, with a manageable level of emotion, the next, all fire and brimstone.

The point is; that you reach a juncture of choice. Hopefully, one where you turn your back on the back wall of your cave, you’re rabbit hole of despair. I am challenged by the rattle of my Jack-in-the-box emotional receptacles every day. They tickle my emotions with a smile and a laugh. I am intimately connected to it. I refuse to let it define me and arrived at a point of acceptance.

Frank J DiMaio DC, MS